Okay, the last post I made was in June of 2016, and now... It's October of 2018. I promised myself that I would lose the weight I wanted to lose BEFORE adulthood struck like an old grandfather clock, but that didn't happen. I actually gained quite a bit of weight, and I am now the heaviest I've ever been. I recently went to the hospital, and I weighed in at 193 pounds. Two years ago, I was 165 pounds. I still felt decent back then. My initial issue this morning was very hard for me to wrap my head around. To make a long story short, I was watching up-do hair tutorials last night before bed, and this morning I decided to try a Dutch braid ponytail. When I went to start braiding my crown I realized that I couldn't keep my arms up long enough to START the braid. It was very depressing. I walked upstairs, and laid down, almost ready to cry... That's when I noticed how heavy I was breathing, just from climbing up the stairs. Eventually, I marched myself back to the bathroom and went through the pain, because I'm not a quitter. Although, I did have to take a couple of breaks in between. It was absolutely ridiculous. I've never had these issues before, and now that I realize what I've done to my body... I don't want to continue living this way. I tell people my weight, just to see the shock across their faces. I cover it up very well, but I don't want to HIDE anymore. I want to LIVE! Today is the day that I am going to make a change.
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